I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
