my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize