guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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