dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize