So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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