Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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