Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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