what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
