That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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