HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
