I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
