She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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