Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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