My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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