We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
