Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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