I wish I could teleport
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
