He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
