What a fucking waste of an outfit
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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