Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
