There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
