Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
