yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
