Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well you can't waste a boner
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
