There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize