I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
