Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
