Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My cat gives me a boner
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
