Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?

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  (765): laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you? http://tfl.nu/4i1p
  Replies (41) Good night (1017) Bad night (4238)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?

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  (202): like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"? http://tfl.nu/e2lv
  Replies (36) Good night (458) Bad night (2996)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  either way he was missing a nipple.

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  (203): either way he was missing a nipple. http://tfl.nu/17oh
  Replies (18) Good night (798) Bad night (5913)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.

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  (314): He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life. http://tfl.nu/k4q7
  Replies (33) Good night (876) Bad night (5742)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"

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  (606): I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?" http://tfl.nu/ecul
  Replies (56) Good night (971) Bad night (5025)
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  (916): View more from California

  i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable

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  (916): i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable http://tfl.nu/k7qc
  Replies (8) Good night (2359) Bad night (1184)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED

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  (+41): my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED http://tfl.nu/sryn
  Replies (3) Good night (2098) Bad night (510)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls

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  (410): Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls http://tfl.nu/o10i
  Replies (4) Good night (2503) Bad night (623)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  People are yelling about how much they want you here.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.

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  (651): People are yelling about how much they want you here. (563): I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled. http://tfl.nu/lpre
  Replies (4) Good night (2399) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon

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  (202): When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle. (202): We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon http://tfl.nu/62rc
  Replies (6) Good night (1413) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?

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  (405): Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you? http://tfl.nu/1gun
  Replies (14) Good night (958) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.

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  (317): When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work. http://tfl.nu/4lb8
  Replies (13) Good night (2170) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.

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  (503): He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor. http://tfl.nu/y1d6
  Replies (9) Good night (1039) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He could stay over, if you'd just ask.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"

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  (706): He could stay over, if you'd just ask. (912): Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not" http://tfl.nu/x11w
  Replies (10) Good night (1121) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why

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  (626): Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why http://tfl.nu/74jl
  Replies (4) Good night (1231) Bad night (215)

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