can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
