Can Purell be used as lube?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
