Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.

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  (205): Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies. http://tfl.nu/26xq
  Replies (16) Good night (2559) Bad night (676)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

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  (864): he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs. http://tfl.nu/m2cw
  Replies (10) Good night (4998) Bad night (589)
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  (209): View more from California

  I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.

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  (209): I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car. http://tfl.nu/v5pu
  Replies (31) Good night (1279) Bad night (7698)
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  (310): View more from California

  When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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  (310): When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth http://tfl.nu/ve5l
  Replies (17) Good night (4595) Bad night (988)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1238) Bad night (4302)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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  (801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz
  Replies (31) Good night (10608) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.

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  (508): I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch. http://tfl.nu/jvw8
  Replies (22) Good night (1068) Bad night (8028)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.

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  (904): I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana. http://tfl.nu/xfg3
  Replies (16) Good night (3215) Bad night (1463)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1

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  (419): So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1 http://tfl.nu/tz8w
  Replies (35) Good night (6685) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Its 11 o'clock somewhere

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  (315): What's the rule on cocaine before dinner? (414): Its 11 o'clock somewhere http://tfl.nu/yof7
  Replies (7) Good night (2605) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.

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  (321): Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments. http://tfl.nu/oyly
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.

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  (413): He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex. http://tfl.nu/az8i
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....

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  (925): But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age..... http://tfl.nu/e96s
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god

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  (320): She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god http://tfl.nu/si6s
  Replies (3) Good night (791) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.

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  (848): Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee. http://tfl.nu/nwde
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (222)

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