i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a