...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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