i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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