Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
