You made me cry and you don't even care
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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