Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
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I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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