So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize