i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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