i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
