I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Be still, my beating vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
