I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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