I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
