4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
