I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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