What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Let's get the cat blown out
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
