I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize