They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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