literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You've changed since you got that strap on
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
