I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
