yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
