You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
