Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
