I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.