Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.