If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?