did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
