They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
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Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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