No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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